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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755910">Without Any Strings Attached</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereSay_ThereSay/pseuds/HereSay_ThereSay'>HereSay_ThereSay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Adventure Zone (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Attempt at Humor, Coming Out, Discussions of Asexuality, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kravitz is Ace guys, Kravitz is Anxious and Uncomfortable but like?, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Queer Themes, Supportive Relationships, The Grim Reaper is a Softie, discussion of sex, i guess?, kravitz's genitalia is a choose your own adventure game, maybe? - Freeform, mostly it's sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:08:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereSay_ThereSay/pseuds/HereSay_ThereSay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kravitz doesn't understand sex.</p><p>That's—okay, that's the main thing, right? That's the first—first things first and all that… stuff.</p><p>Kravitz doesn't understand sex, like, at all.</p><p>Or. Well. He gets why people have it. He—he knows where babies come from, okay? Like, he's been dead for a long time but not that long a time. But past that?</p><p>No fucking clue.</p><p>He—he's asexual, he supposes, although he's never really had to give any thought to it because there's never been any reason to, really, but—</p><p>Look. He's dead, right? He's—he's Death. His body is a construct, a (very nice, if he does say so himself) product of his goddess' magic that exists to help him complete his duties as a reaper. It doesn't need anything. Not food, not water, not air, not heat, not any other physical component of life because, again, he's not alive.</p><p>And he certainly doesn't need sex.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Without Any Strings Attached</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>guess who's back and Still projecting their own Personal Shit on fictional characters</p><p>this story is based on my own experiences as an ace person, and will contain descriptions of (attempted) vaginal masturbation. if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to click away now.</p><p>also, while i don't expect any of this, i must say: aphobia and general invalidation of asexuality in any comments will Not be tolerated, so if that's your opinion, A. why are you reading this and B. keep that ish to yourself, i don't wanna see it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kravitz doesn't understand sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's—okay, that's the main thing, right? That's the first—first things first and all that… stuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz doesn't understand sex, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or. Well. He gets why people </span>
  <em>
    <span>have it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He—he knows where babies come from, okay? Like, he's been dead for a long time but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> long a time. But past that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No fucking clue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He—he's asexual, he supposes, although he's never really had to give any thought to it because there's never been any <em>reason </em>to, really, but—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Look. He's dead, right? He's—he's </span>
  <em>
    <span>Death</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His body is a construct, a (very nice, if he does say so himself) product of his goddess' magic that exists to help him complete his duties as a reaper. It doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>anything. Not food, not water, not air, not heat, not any other physical component of life because, again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he's not alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he certainly doesn't need sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Taako plops himself down in Kravitz's lap and presses kisses to his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, a coy smile on his face and a certain glint in his eye, Kravitz knows that the awkward conversation he's been avoiding since that first night at the Chug'n'Squeeze is about to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taako…" he says, running his hands down his boyfriend's arms. "Taako, dearest, we—we need to talk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako freezes up so fast Kravitz is almost surprised that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he's </span>
  </em>
  <span>not the one that feels frozen solid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck, shit, babe, I'm sorry, I should've asked first, I—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz catches Taako's hands where they're starting to twist up in the hem of the elf's sweater and presses a quick kiss to Taako's fingertips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing bad, darling. Deep breaths. You're okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>We need to talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> is always a poor choice of words, and Kravitz realises even as he says it.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako calms, smiles, steadies, and once the fear, however fleeting, is completely gone from his eyes, Kravitz continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taako, I…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clears his throat. Pushes a few locs away from his face, back from where they'd fallen from the loose bun Kravitz had tied them into earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako narrows his eyes. "You said it wasn't bad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It isn't!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then why won't you say it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because it's—Taako, I'm—I'm dead, right?" Kravitz asks because it's easier to explain as he goes than to just say it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, as fucking far as I know, yeah. S'why it's like making out with a fucking penguin all the fucking time—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right, yes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That, exactly that. Taako—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babe, if this is about you having, like, a cold dick or whatever, I promise that is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>an issue—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't like sex," Kravitz blurts out, because at that moment hearing Taako discuss his (nonexistent) dick being </span>
  <em>
    <span>chilly </span>
  </em>
  <span>was even worse than admitting that he's…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's not broken or anything. He's long since accepted it. He's just never…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's kinda weird, right? And he doesn't like talking about it, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking </span>
  </em>
  <span>about it, or thinking about how Taako obviously doesn't have the same hold-ups as he does, and how Taako is probably going to want to have sex, at some point, and what if that means he doesn't want to stay with Kravitz any more and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really?" Taako asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, really."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako stares at him for a moment and then shrugs. "Alright," he says. "That's—not gonna lie, babe, I don't get that, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but if you don't like sex then I guess we're not having sex."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz feels like sighing in relief, which is ridiculous because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he doesn't need to breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But, like—is this a </span>
  <em>
    <span>don't like </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing or an </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm the Grim Reaper so technically I don't feel a need to do it but I could try </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing?" Taako continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Kravitz could blush, he would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean…" he says, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck. "I mean. I suppose I've tried. Um. I don't—I don't have a dick, Taako."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako blinks at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well that's—that might be step number one, my dude. Kinda hard to get the engine going when you're fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>smooth like a Ken Doll</span>
  </em>
  <span> down there—"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Queen</span>
  </em>
  <span>, does Kravitz hate this conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no I mean I—I have genitalia, it's just not…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're trans?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I—not really. I get to choose how my construct appears, yes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah. The whole—the whole Jack Skellington thing, I feel you. So, what? You just like having a vag more than a dick?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz rubs a hand over his face. "It's more convenient," he tries to defend. "It's—it doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>get in the way</span>
  </em>
  <span>—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Chill out, babe. No judgment for that here," Taako says, cracking a small, sincere smile up at Kravitz that makes Kravitz's chest ache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, it feels like Taako is going to convince Kravitz's dead heart to beat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm still confused, though. Have you just—have you never used the equipment? Is this one of those, 'Daddy won't let me drive his shiny fantasy-lambo because he's afraid I'll wreck it' things?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And sometimes, it feels like Taako is single-handedly trying to kill him all fucking over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz groans and rolls over onto his stomach, burying his face in Taako's pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>the worst</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babe? Babe, are you alright? Look, if you—if you want me to drop it, I will, I just—I wanna understand, y'know? But, like, if it's none of my business, I get it. We can just—kissing is fine, right? You seem to like kissing. We can just, uh—do this Disney Channel style, keep it real PG-13, I don't mind—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "I've been—I've been turned on before," Kravitz continues. He doesn't really know why (he does—he wants Taako to know, to know </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, every little detail and quirk Kravitz has to offer, all of it, and he wants to know Taako the same way) but he figures they're already in this deep, might as well—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Might as well go </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the way</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've been turned on," he repeats. "Like, objectively, my body has—when I eat food, my body digests it, even though it doesn't have to. If I sleep, I dream. I—my body knows how to react to things, even if it doesn't need to, and I—I suppose it recognises that </span>
  <em>
    <span>some things</span>
  </em>
  <span> should be, objectively, arousing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like what?" Taako asks, sounding </span>
  <em>
    <span>far</span>
  </em>
  <span> too fucking smug, and Kravitz definitely should not find it as endearing as he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think you know, Taako."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, so, like, I get the gears turning. That's—natch, obviously, I'm fine as hell, but like—if you're horny, why don't you just fuck me? I'm not trying to—I'm not trying to pressure you, I just—I'm trying to understand it, baby," Taako says, and when Kravitz rolls back over, the elf is sitting next to him, and he's got this look on his face, and his fingers are twitching where he's got them clasped over his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can touch me," Kravitz says suddenly, watching as Taako tries so hard to hold himself so still. "Like—my hair and back and—somatic cells—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Taako laughs, but it's as relieved as it is amused, and a moment later he's got one hand tracing shapes into the slope of Kravitz's chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you get horny," he prompts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I—yes. I get… aroused, I suppose. But it's not—it's not </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don't </span>
  <em>
    <span>enjoy it</span>
  </em>
  <span>—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No one enjoys blueballing themself, babe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I've tried, uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>un</span>
  </em>
  <span>-blueballing myself," Kravitz explains. "I, uh. I know what to do to, uh—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Get off? Wank one out? Make a withdrawal from the spank bank? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Beat the meat?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Kravitz replies because honestly, he doesn't know how else to respond to that. "I know how to do—</span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I've tried, I just—it doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel good</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako doesn't say anything, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that's </span>
  </em>
  <span>strange and absolutely terrifying, so Kravitz rushes to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've—I've done all the—rubbing, and pressing, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>insertion</span>
  </em>
  <span> and—I've tried all that, but I just—it—it doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>work </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me, Taako. I've shoved three fingers up my own cunt and played with my own fucking clit for </span>
  <em>
    <span>thirty minutes, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and all I could think about was how sticky and messy it was, and how much nicer it'd be to be watching fantasy-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Doctor Who</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's weird, saying it aloud, those words that he so often avoids, thinking back to that night that he's tried to forget. Kravitz knows he isn't broken, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>that this is just </span>
  <em>
    <span>how he is</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but that… That night, it had been hard not to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako laughs. "Holy—holy fuck, babe, that—" he stammers out between giggles. It doesn't sound malicious or mocking or anything like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If anything is sounds—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're such a fucking—you're such a dork, Krav, it's—gods, you're cute, you know that?" Taako finally spits out, and Kravitz is once again glad he's incapable of blushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz doesn't say anything, just sort of lies there and stares at his boyfriend, who's still trying to get over his laughter, who presses a light kiss to the tip of Kravitz's nose, and then another, even softer one to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you don't like sex," Taako says. "That's—fine. Okay. Not gonna say I'm not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little </span>
  </em>
  <span>bummed, because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>a grade-A snack, but—that's okay. We're not going to do anything you don't want to do, babe, and I'm just as happy with cuddling and kissing as I am with anything else, so."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really?" Kravitz asks, because this—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In all the scenarios Kravitz had imagined, all the ways he thought this conversation would play out, Taako being </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> with it had only ever crossed his mind in his most ludicrous of fantasies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, babe. What, you think I'm gonna </span>
  <em>
    <span>force </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to have sex with me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! No, I—I just thought—well—I didn't know, Taako, but I thought maybe you'd… There's other, uh, people, yes? And you—you're gorgeous and funny and smart and—well. You could be with anyone, Taako. And I thought maybe you'd prefer to be with someone who…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would give me that good dick every night?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz laughs and says, "I suppose that's one way of putting it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah," Taako replies casually, flopping down so that his head is resting on Kravitz's chest. "Nah, I think I—I think I've made my pick, y'know? Taako's good right here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Kravitz's dead, dead heart swells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he thinks he's good right here, too.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you or someone you love is ace, remember that you are Not broken and do Not Ever need to put yourself in positions you are uncomfortable with in order to sustain a relationship. there is someone at there who will love you no matter what, and your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. things will be okay, and you are worthy of love.</p><p>i promise.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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